And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
