bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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