i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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