His pubic hair was longer than his dick
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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