Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
