every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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