We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
