Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I AM VODKA MAN
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
