the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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