I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
