my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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