What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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