Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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