WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize