therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
