Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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