Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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