How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She's the barista slut.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
