So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
