He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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