Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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