I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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