we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
