So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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