So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize