I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
