i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
