I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
