I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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