I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
