I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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