I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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