I wanna passion pit in your ass
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
