you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
