The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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