oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
