Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Randomize
