Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
