i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
