if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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