his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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