the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
