No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
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I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
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Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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