I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
