Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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