I CAN MOONWALK!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
