Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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