im holly from the hills drunk
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
