He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
