dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize