singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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