woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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