i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
