I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
