in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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