He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
