Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt

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(256): View more from Alabama

My hair reeks of homosexuality.

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(917): View more from New York City

omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter

(310): View more from California

Whats your twitter name

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(513): View more from Ohio

both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage

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(503): View more from Oregon

They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?

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(218): View more from Minnesota

The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

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(919): View more from North Carolina

when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch

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(330): View more from Ohio

You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.

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