So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize