please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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